Cue The Pulse To Begin. Trigger The Breakbeat Come At 10. Sequence The Modular Pin. Slave The MIDI To The Synth. Cue The Pulse To Begin… Go!

I should like getting ahead
- Cue The Pulse To Begin/ Burnside Project

[insert ambiguous depressive text with lyrics and quotes and bitter feelings]

emo emo emo

/emo /emo /emo

This is an obligatory emo post set to freak a certain person out. Hahaha. I would explain but I’m sleepy (:

Year three is ending with some pretty epic stuff. I think I’ve changed a lot. I’m still socially inept and it feels like I’m on a different channel than most people on good days… but I’m trying to view it this way: I entered lost and confused, angry and depressed. But I’m leaving with the ability to keep my emotions in check (sorta) and with a rough outline of what I’m planning to do. I’m thinking of sticking it out in this industry because I’ve come to love the technical aspects of it all. Aiming for the post-production line of work and if all pans out, maybe I could even start my own thing? Who knows?All these talks with all those industry people have been psyching me up for a crazyhardtoughfun time. I’m starting to think it’s worth it (:

As much as I hate going to school, it’s kinda taught me how to survive? Like. Not only through the terrors of internship but holy hell, the drama in school is just a reflection of what’s gonna happen out there. So, I’m leaving Ngee Ann with no regrets. I’ve lost friends but gained some epic relationships with people that I hope I won’t ever lose contact with <3

Woah. I don’t know how this post got all serious. Haha. Like I said, I’m sleepy. The link between my mind and my fingertips seems to slightly off. I think I should go. Night you all (:

The King He Sat In A Chair Of Gold And Let Life Let Him Be. His Daughter Sat By His Side Most Nights To Keep Him Company. The Wise Man And The Alchemist Looked Over Charts And Graphs. Inconclusive, They’re Inconclusive, Hopefully This Will Pass. The Jester Said: I Tried To Make Him Laugh.

And I, just need some time off
I need some time off from all of this, yeah
- The King/ Piebald

Bored to death at the loft. I should get started on the pile of homework I’ve accumulated, no? According to my checklist, I’ve got:

*REGCIN thesis paper
*REGCIN final quiz
*REGCIN final exam
*REGCIN blog
*REGCIN disc board: thailand
*REGCIN disc board: vietnam
*REGCIN disc board: singapore
*REGCIN disc board: malaysia
*REGCIN disc board: philippines

*POSTPRO blue nose online
*POSTPRO tv trailer

*AFP edit AFP2
*STUDIO studio paper

*MEDLAW test

*WISP assignment 3
*CORCOM group project

…to complete. Hoo. Rah.

9 days to muse
3 weeks-1 day to the end of school.

Well. Sorta. Still gotta come back to school after a “two week study break” for media law and regional cinema exams.

Bummer.

Just Ahead I See You Winding Up. And Your Dress Is A Colour On The Edge Of Fire. Until These Tightened Strides. They March In Time Again. I Don’t Know Where I Will Go. I Don’t Know If I Will Cut Through.

Its the sound of your racing heart
That beats in time with every start
That reaches up and across the sky
That makes you want to rise.
- Wind Up/ Thursday

Sometimes, it bothers me that I generally do not care about what others think. Because I know what people are saying and I guess I should feel annoyed, offended and even pissed off but it just kinda escapes me. I tend to view it this way– I have so many issues with myself, so why bother adding more negativity to the fuckload of emo I carry?

It’s easy to feel alienated in a crowd. I’d think it’d suck big time cept for the fact that I know there are people I can turn to and I’m forever grateful for that <3

This AFP2 schtick (that’s advanced film production class project two) has got it’s ups and downs. I’ve been feeling like I’m not part of the group because I know fuck nothing of what happened on set for the first two days. It was bloody exhausting driving around– picking up food, buying misc crap, ferrying the talent around… but my group seemed to view it as me skiving off duty. Like wtf? (But I’m gonna be editing our short film so that’s me contributing to the group if they still feel like I’ve done nothing)

Then, I remind myself that this is just school and really, I should just ignore all that melodramatic nonsense. It’s pretty juvenile. (That and I actually love driving.)

On the topic of AFP2 and driving, there’s a plus side to all that since I now have an unofficial roadtrip friend. Hahaha. He knows who he is and I think it’s been totally wickedawesome since we haven’t hung out in a long time. Even watched The Blind Side with him yesterday instead of with a different group of friends because everything is just so chill and trippy, you know? There’s none of that girl politics or uncomfortable silences. That and night drives = win.

3 more weeks to the end of school. Hell to the bleeding yeah.

Razor Blade, That’s What I Call Love. I Bet You Pick It Up And Mess Around With It If I Put It Down. It Gets Extremely Complicated. Anything To Forget Everything.

Oh no, my feelings are more important than yours
Oh, drop dead, I don’t care, I won’t worry
There you go.
- Razorblade/ The Strokes

I wonder who we are when we’re not pretending.

I don’t quite know how to say how I feel.

You got to take me out/At least once a week/ Whether I’m in your arms/ Or I’m at your feet/ I know exactly what you’re thinking/ You won’t say it now/ But in your heart it’s loud.

T- ? hours to death silence.

You Gave Me This. Made Me Give. Your Silver Grin. Still Sticking In. You Have Soul Machine. Soul Machine.

The longest kiss
Peeling furniture days
Drift madly to you
Pollute my heart; Drain.

You have broken at me
Broken me.

All your mental armor drags me down
Nothing hurts like your mouth
- Mouth/ Bush

Hello there. It’s been a while.

Decided to give a proper update because I have messed up thoughts in my head and I need to sort them out a bit. And what better song to set mood to words then this. It confused the fuck out me the first time I heard it because I couldn’t tell if it was a sexual song or a song about being used and abused. I guess it’s a bit of both.

Like I said, my mind’s not in a good place right now- it’s been overrun with so many thoughts about school that I haven’t had time to sort other stuff out. I feel like my feelings are being pulled in a million directions and exhaustion is wearing me thin. I hate the late nights and unfinished sentences that hang in mid-air, stalling, pausing, waiting for when I wake to hit me like a freight train straight through the heart.

Love me. Leave me. Love you. Leave you. This is a one hit wonder waiting for you to hit replay. We’re running on borrowed time and it’s a 100 mile run to the light at the exit. Two steps forward (you), I step back (me).

Good night.

We’ve been missing long before
Never found our way home.